On the eve of the feast of the Seven Sorrows of Mary, before sleeping, I was reading Cum Petro (The Periodical of the Confraternity of St. Peter) and stumbled upon an article. It was about the Meditation of St. Jose Maria Escriva on the 4th Sorrowful Mystery. What caught my attention were these lines: "Love the Cross. When you really love it, your Cross will be... A Cross without a Cross."
After reading this, certain thoughts came to my mind. Am I loving my "Cross"? In asking this question, I realized that perhaps I am not loving it that much. I still feel its weight. It sometimes crushes me to the ground.
Then, I opened my 1954 Marian Missal and flipped the pages to Thursday of Passion Week. After reading the Collect and the Gospel, which was about the anointing of Jesus' feet by a sinful woman, I came across the Daily Thought. The reflection came from the Following of Christ.
The Thought had a similar message with the Meditation albeit different in wordings. "If thou will carry the cross willingly, it will carry thee, and bring thee to thy desired end...."
Again, thoughts passed by my mind again. Am I carrying it willingly? Have I reached my ends? Or, have I begun with my journey?
Certainly, God works in a mysterious way. He tells me twice to carry my cross. There was a time when I just wanted to stop and leave it lying flat on the floor. A time when all I did was complain, complain unceasingly. A time when I broke down and shed tears, tears of dismay. A time when my faith in myself was lost and my Faith became far more stronger than before.
But God always says go, pick it up, stand firm, carry it and continue with your journey, you have not been a yard away from where you started.
As the Meditation ends, "And surely you will find Mary on the way, just as Jesus did."
